Autonomy
“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.” — Moshe Dayan
That day my father was unwell. I asked for a leave.
It was denied.
Not because of a critical project. Not because the office would collapse without me. Just… denied.
Here’s the thing. The shock wasn’t about missing work. It was about realizing how little control I actually had over my own life.
The Moment That Exposed Everything
I was at my desk when my phone rang. My father needed help. Urgently. Not in a week. Not after the quarterly review. Now.
I walked to my manager’s cabin. Heart racing. Palms sweating.
“I need to take a day off. Family emergency.”
He didn’t even look up from his screen.
“We have deadlines. Can it wait?”
Can it wait? Can my father’s health wait for a project timeline?
“Not really. It’s urgent.”
He sighed. “Look, I understand. But we can’t approve this right now. Business as usual.”
Business as usual.
Those three words hung in the air like a death sentence.
I walked back to my desk in a daze. Not angry. Not yet. Just… hollow.
Because in that moment, I understood something I’d been ignoring for years.
My time wasn’t mine. My priorities weren’t mine. My life wasn’t fully mine.
Someone else controlled the pause button. And they’d just pressed “denied.”
What This Moment Really Revealed
That denial wasn’t just about one bad day or one inflexible manager. It was a window into how the entire system works. And once I started seeing it clearly, I couldn’t unsee it.
Here’s what became painfully obvious in the weeks that followed.
Companies Make Decisions for Themselves, Not for You
I want you to understand something important. Corporations aren’t evil. They’re machines.
They run on financial logic, not empathy. Loyalty doesn’t earn you flexibility. It earns you more responsibility and the same paycheck.
When they say “we’re a family,” what they mean is: “we expect family-level commitment from you, but we’ll make business decisions when it suits us.”
Your personal crisis? That’s a resource gap in their system. Someone else can fill your role.
Your absence at home? That gap cannot be filled. Ever.
Does that mean you should hate your job? Not really.
But it means you need to see it for what it is. A transaction. Not a relationship.
You Are Replaceable at Work. You’re Irreplaceable at Home.
When I couldn’t be there for my father that day, no one else could replace me. Not a colleague. Not a professional. Not a manager approving budgets.
Me. Only me.
At work? They would’ve figured it out. Projects would’ve moved. Deadlines would’ve adjusted. Someone else would’ve stepped in.
The world keeps spinning at the office. It doesn’t at home when you’re needed.
That’s the difference most people realize too late.
One Paycheck Is a Single Point of Failure
Want to know why this denial shook me so badly?
Because it exposed my fragility.
One manager’s decision could dictate whether I could be with my family. One policy could override my judgment about what mattered most.
And here’s the brutal truth: in 2023 alone, over 400,000 tech workers were laid off worldwide.
People who thought they were secure. People who’d given years to their companies. People who never built anything outside their job.
When that single paycheck disappears, everything collapses.
I was one decision away from that reality. And I couldn’t shake that thought.
Control Is an Illusion Unless You Build It Yourself
Autonomy isn’t something companies give you. It’s something you build.
Through skills. Through multiple income streams. Through leverage that exists outside their org chart.
Without this, you’re not free. You’re just comfortable.
And comfort isn’t the same as control.
The Questions That Kept Me Up at Night
After that denial, sleep didn’t come easy. I’d lie awake, staring at the ceiling, asking myself questions I’d been avoiding for years. These weren’t abstract philosophical thoughts. They were urgent, uncomfortable questions about the life I was actually living versus the life I wanted.
And I couldn’t avoid them anymore.
“Is This What I Want My Life to Look Like?”
A job that decides when I can show up for my family? Where my worth is measured in billable hours and quarterly reviews?
Where my priorities get overridden by project timelines?
No. That wasn’t the life I wanted. And I knew it.
“How Long Will I Keep Trading Time I Don’t Control?”
Every day, I was trading my most precious resource – time for a salary that could vanish with a restructuring email.
Trading presence for paychecks. Trading freedom for stability that wasn’t even guaranteed.
That trade felt increasingly unfair.
“What Am I Building for Myself?”
The honest answer? Nothing.
I was building someone else’s dream. Someone else’s business. Someone else’s quarterly targets.
And while I did that, my own future remained dependent on their decisions.
That had to change.
How This Triggered My Creator Journey
That denial didn’t just make me angry. It moved me to action.
I couldn’t control what happened at work. But I could control what I built outside of it. So I started creating things that existed completely independent of corporate approval or permission.
This wasn’t about revenge. It was about insurance. About building a foundation that couldn’t be taken away by a manager’s decision or a company’s restructuring.
I Started Building Without Asking
I launched a podcast. Not because my manager approved. Because I wanted to.
I started affiliate blogs. Created newsletters. Built digital assets.
These weren’t side projects. They were my insurance policy. My escape hatch. My proof that I could build something independent of corporate approval.
Every Small Win Felt Like Reclaiming a Piece of My Autonomy
The first affiliate commission wasn’t about the money. It was about proof.
Proof that I could generate income without a boss. Without a performance review. Without anyone’s permission.
The first podcast review from a stranger? Validation that I could create value outside the system.
The first newsletter subscriber who wasn’t a friend? Evidence that my voice mattered to people who didn’t owe me anything.
Each win was small. But together, they built momentum.
The Shift from Dependency to Empowerment
Slowly, something changed in me.
I stopped feeling trapped by a “no.” My self-worth stopped being tied to my manager’s approval.
I started seeing myself differently. Not as an employee who needed permission. But as a creator who could build something real.
That psychological shift was as important as any income I generated.
Freedom Wasn’t a Destination. It Became a Daily Practice
Building autonomy wasn’t a single decision. It was a thousand small ones.
Showing up to record an episode after a long work day. Writing a blog post on Sunday morning. Learning a new skill on my commute.
Freedom grew in daily habits. Not overnight transformations.
The Lessons I Want You to Take Away
This story isn’t unique to me. It’s happening to people right now.
People stuck in jobs they can’t leave. People dependent on paychecks they can’t afford to lose. People who’ve handed over control of their time to someone else’s calendar.
If you’re reading this and feeling that familiar knot in your stomach, I want you to know something: you’re not stuck. You’re just standing at the edge of a decision you haven’t made yet.
Here’s what I wish I’d understood earlier, and what I hope saves you years of regret.
Lesson 1: If You Don’t Build Something of Your Own, You’ll Always Be at Someone Else’s Mercy
A job is practical. Necessary, even.
But total dependence on one paycheck? That’s dangerous.
Building your own projects adds safety. Options. Autonomy.
You don’t have to quit your job. You just have to stop putting all your security in one basket.
Lesson 2: Your Family Deserves More Than a Conditional Version of You
Your family shouldn’t have to wait for approval to have you present.
They deserve the real you. Available. Present. There when it matters.
Building autonomy means showing up for them without asking permission.
Lesson 3: Start Your Side Hustle Before You Need It
Don’t wait for the layoff. Don’t wait for the crisis. Don’t wait until desperation forces your hand.
Build your side hustle now. While you have a paycheck. While you have stability.
So when challenges come, you have options instead of panic.
Lesson 4: Freedom Is Not About Quitting Your Job. It’s About Creating Options.
Side income. New skills. Digital assets. Audiences. Systems.
These create optionality.
The ability to say “no” when it matters. The ability to choose work instead of needing it. The ability to walk away if you have to.
Freedom isn’t unemployment. It’s having choices.
4 Practical Ways to Start Building Autonomy Today
Look, I know reading about lessons and mindset shifts feels good. But that warm feeling fades fast if you don’t take action.
So let me give you four concrete, practical steps you can start today. Not next month. Not after you “get organized.” Today.
These aren’t theoretical exercises. These are the exact steps I took when I started building my own autonomy. And they work because they’re simple enough to start immediately but powerful enough to compound over time.
1) Allocate 45 Minutes a Day to a Personal Project
Podcasting. Writing. Blogging. Learning a skill that pays.
Consistency compounds. Just 45 focused minutes daily is enough.
2) Build One Skill That Makes You Money Outside Your Job
Writing. Editing. Marketing. Affiliate marketing. Coaching.
Master one skill that generates income independently of your employer.
3) Create Your First Digital Asset
A guide. A course. A template. A niche blog post.
Something that works for you while you sleep.
4) Start Documenting Your Journey
People follow explorers, not experts.
Share your wins. Your failures. Your lessons.
Authenticity builds audience. And audience builds opportunity.
Closing Thought
That day when my leave was denied still stings.
But I’m grateful for it.
Because it woke me up. It forced me to see reality. It pushed me toward a life where no one else decides when my family needs me.
If someone else controls your time, they control your life.
Start building something that gives it back to you..
Recommended Books to Inspire Your Journey
The 4-Hour Workweek — Tim Ferriss
This book introduces the idea of reclaiming time and designing life focused on autonomy. It’s perfect if you feel trapped in workplace dependency.
The Psychology of Money — Morgan Housel
This book explains why real wealth is the ability to control your time. It dives into the emotional side of financial freedom, reinforcing why autonomy matters.
Quitter — Jon Acuff
A grounded, practical guide on how to build dreams while keeping your job. Ideal for mid-career professionals starting side hustles and building independence.
If you’re tired of burning hours for a paycheck and craving more freedom, my Escape Plan Blueprint is the step-by-step guide you’ve been looking for.
It’s the exact framework I used to transition from corporate leader to full-time creator—without burning out or blowing up my savings.
Inside, you’ll learn how to build a content-driven side hustle, grow your income, and finally design a life on your terms.
Recommended Newsletters
Here are few newsletters that I would recommend that you sign up to if you are interested in learning the art of running a side-hustle:
- Write, Build, Scale
- Why we buy
- The Book Bub
- The Stacked Marketer
- The Growth Bulletin
- Unconventional Productivity for Online Business Owners
- Side Hustle Weekly
- The Affiliate Guy
- I will teach you to be rich
- How Brands win
- For the Interested
- Send and Grow
Sign up to these and follow them. You will get a lot of information and content for your blog posts, podcasts and even social media posts.
I will share more such ideas in my future newsletters.
